Archive for June, 2013

No, Being Single is not “Prolonging Adolescence”, and Your Single-Shaming is Harmful

I saw a post on my Facebook news feed by a recently graduated high school senior, titled “Boys to Men”. The description said it was about boys prolonging their adolescence into their 20s and 30s. A valid point in some cases… independence is a huge part of adulthood, and able-bodied adults shouldn’t be remaining mainly dependent on their parents.

However, that was not the point of the video at all. It was a pastor named David Platt saying “Don’t wait… get a wife“.

Well, David Platt… obviously, as a nonbeliever, I am not your target demographic. But you are now telling thousands of impressionable young men who do value your opinion that their adulthood and maturity is solely based on their ability to marry someone. Anyone, really, as long as they fit the misogynistic “Proverbs 31” standard. You are telling them to see all hobbies, education, and private study – study intended to better one’s self – as secondary to marriage.

You are telling thousands of young women that they are not supposed to seek a man out, but wait for him to seek them out. And, presumably the “worth” lessons remain there, so if they aren’t sought out, they too are not really “adults”.

You are telling thousands of mothers that the message you deliver on their day of honor is actually for young single men?

No matter your religious view, the decision to get married is a serious one. And you are shaming young people into making that decision hastily, telling them that their maturity depends on it.

So, regardless of what David Platt tells you, it is okay to be single. A single person is more than just a potential married person.